


Definitely nothing like NASCAR

by Sun_Sparks



Series: TV [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 02:35:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13537872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sun_Sparks/pseuds/Sun_Sparks
Summary: “For a show about drag races, this is very... Pink.” Craig calls out to his friend’s hideout spot. “You’re an ass, Kenny. This is nothing to do with cars, is it?”





	Definitely nothing like NASCAR

From down the corridor, Craig could hear someone try to get his attention.

“Yo, Tucker!”, a familiar voice calls. A blur of orange appears in front of him. “Wanna come over after school today? I found this new show - it's the coolest shit – and you should watch it with me. You owe me one.”

Craig stops to think for a bit.

“What's it about?”

“Drag races.”

“Like cars? Count me in,” He says enthusiastically. “Tweek is at work today, so I have some time to kill. Mine or yours?”

“Mine. Karen is at yours with Trish for a sleepover.”

Craig has never seen a drag race. He imagines it's not too different from the NASCAR Kenny watches. Maybe something more one on one? He's not really sure what to expect, but he and Kenny seem to have similar taste in shows, so he figures it can't be all bad.

After school, the two boys make their way to Kenny's room. It's by no means cosy, sitting on the mattress on the floor, but it's Kenny's home and it keeps him dry, so he supposes it can't be all bad. He dreams about being wealthy someday, with aspirations to have a double bed and a door that can actually close. In some ways, he's glad his parents don't take much of an interest in him; he doesn't think he could deal with content check-ins and privacy invasions while the door is falling off its hinges.

He finds the show on his small tablet and presses play. He lets Craig watch while he makes his way into his closet.

“For a show about drag races, this is very... Pink.” Craig calls out to his friend’s hideout spot. “You’re an ass, Kenny. This is nothing to do with cars, is it?”

Kenny emerges from the small space in full dress; a blonde wig with plaited pigtails, and a pink gown getting a little small, but instantly recognisable as the one he used in their fantasy game the year before. He gives a little twirl, a giggle and a very happy “Nope!”

Craig stares blankly at his friend.

“This is about as much like NASCAR as your space anime is.”

“Okay,” he looks back at the screen. “Drag queens? Okay.”

* * *

 

Kenny shoots him a cheesy grin. “That one looks like you,” he says.

“What.”

“Yup!”

“Kenny, the only physical traits I share with this person is that we’re both male.”

“No no no, not Vivacious. Ornacia.”

Craig turns to his friend, puzzled. “The head?”

“Yeah! Tall, weird eyes, blank as fuck expression, always.”

* * *

  
“Dude, not to sound like a queer or nothin', but the one with the parachute is hot.”

“She's a man and you're eleven.”

“Doesn't mean she's not hot,” he smirks. “Does this make me gay?”

“I don't think so,” Craig ponders. “Do you like girls or guys, or maybe both?”

“Just girls. See, even Adam Lambert thinks she's hot.” Kenny is quite curious to ask his next question “Do you find any of them attractive, in our out of drag?”

“... None of them look like Tweek, so no."

* * *

  
As the credits roll, Craig voices his thoughts. “Well, I don't know what I just watched, but it made for some very compelling viewing.” 

“What did you think of it?”

“I don't know. I liked the one that says 'party',” he reflects.

There's a pregnant pause before Craig speaks again.

“Kenny... we’re watching this. And you have a wig on. And you were Princess Kenny before. Do you... want to do drag?”

Kenny looks at the ceiling, as if something in the heavens would help answer Craig's question.

“Look around you, Craig. What do you see?”

“Um... Your house?”

“No shit, 'my house’. What about my house? Don't feel like you have to be polite,” he smiles. It's a genuine smile, with no sarcasm or malice behind it.

“I don't know if I feel comfortable answering that.”

“Cartman would. C'mon, Craig. I live in the worst fuckin' house in town. It's 7pm and my parents are nowhere to be seen. My mom is no role model,” he adjusts his wig, just so. He's taken good care of it since he got it. Possessions don't come easily to McCormicks. “it's not for me. It's hard being eleven and the only role model your sister has. I wanted to be a girl on our game last year for Karen so she's had something to aspire to.”

“Oh.”

“Don't feel bad for it, we've just gotta play the hands we’re dealt. Karen thinks I make a great older sister. I want her to believe she can do anything she puts her mind to. Plus, if I watch this, I can teach her how to put on make up real good when she's old enough.”

“I think that’s really good of you,” Craig says, as he offers a smile.

“It’s not all good,” his friend says, as he twirls his fake hair and winks. “know who else will love putting make-up on me?  _Bebe._ ”

 


End file.
